Sex Coaching Tip of the Month – Increase Your Sexual Knowledge

School is starting and kids are gearing up for a year of work and that which comes as a result of their work — grades. Grades are supposed to be based upon demonstrated learned knowledge and skill and reflect the effort by the student.

So, what if we received report cards, from our partner, in subjects like; sexual competency, communication, art of intimacy, and anatomical knowledge? How would we rate? Barely passing? Satisfactory? Above average? Excellent?

Once we entered into a relationship, it was as if we “registered” for true “adult classes.” Classes in which we get to spend the rest of our lives learning about and receiving feedback from those with whom we are in said relationships. Don’t be afraid to admit that perhaps you may not know all there is to know about the “art of intimacy” or the anatomical features of your or your spouse’s body.

We didn’t take math in school because we already knew it, we took it to learn. And sometimes it was a struggle. And sometimes we discovered areas of strength and areas of weakness and had to deliberately work harder in the areas we struggled. We didn’t enter a relationship with all the education and knowledge already intact, we entered because we knew enough about taking care of ourselves that maybe now you could start learning about taking care of someone else. You looked at each other and decided to step into the unknown together. Now, here you are, and the learning has just begun.

Without tearing yourself down, take an objective look at your sexual knowledge — emotional, physical, mental and spiritual components included — and notice your areas of competency or excellence versus your areas of weakness or even failure. Then, suck it up, admit where you need more education, and go after it. If you have kids in school, apply the same standard to yourself that you do to them and expect:

• hard work
• dedication
• time management
• commitment to excellence

Great relationships require all of the above. There is no easy short-cut or 24-hour fix but lifelong persistence and constant learning and re-learning as new situations arise. I dare you to step up to the challenge, make your relationship your number one priority, and start making the changes within yourself needed to take it to however you and your spouse define “excellence.”