What Is Sex Therapy?
While sex therapy has been around for a long time, it hasn’t gained popularity until the last 5 years thanks to therapists like Esther Perel and TV shows like Sex Education on Netflix. Because it’s not totally clear what sex therapists do and what sex therapy is, we are here to share what sex therapy is and hopefully clear up any misconceptions about what sex therapy is not.
What is sex therapy?
Sex therapy is conducted by a licensed mental health professional that has additional certification, often through an organization like The American Association of Sex Educators, Counselor and Therapists, to help clients address, treat, and heal their sexual health concerns. Sex therapists can work with individuals, couples and those in a polyamorous relationship dynamic. Sex therapists often work in collaboration with other providers including pelvic floor therapists, urologists, hormone specialists, OB/GYNs, and sexual health specialists.
What do you do in sex therapy?
Sex therapy is no different than “regular therapy”, however, the therapist has the additional training to treat sexual health issues. When you enter into sex therapy, your therapist will:
Conduct an initial intake and assessment,
Review your overall mental health history and your beliefs about sexuality
Understand your sexual health history
Listen to your concerns and why you are seeking therapy
Help you identify your goals for therapy
Create a treatment plan that will guide your overall therapy.
What issues do you treat in sex therapy?
Sex therapists are trained in a wide range of sexual health issues including:
Erectile dysfunction and erectile disappointment
Low libido and mismatched desire between partners
Premature ejaculation
Sex addiction and out of control sexual behavior
LGBTQ concerns
Sexual shame
Trouble with orgasm or never having an orgasm
Painful sex
General sex education
Issues related to gender identity or sexual orientation
No sex marriages
Sexual trauma
Body image
Kink and BDSM
Couples counseling and polyamourous relationships
How do I know if I need sex therapy?
You don’t have to wait until a large issue arises to seek out sex therapy! In fact, because many people didn’t have an opportunity to have sex education growing up, there are a lot of gaps in their overall understanding of sexuality. Sex therapists can provide general education and information and provide information, referrals and suggestions. When an issue is creating a disruption in your life in a regular and persistent way, that is a great time to start sex therapy. If you feel awkward or overwhelmed at the idea of talking to a stranger about your private and personal issues, you are not alone. Many people feel this way! Sex therapists are trained to support you in talking through your sexual issues and are there to help without judgment.
Common misconceptions about sex therapy
If you are new to sex therapy you may be worried about rumors you’ve heard about sex therapy or something unsettling portrayed in a movie or tv show. Rest assured that sex therapists work within the highest levels of professionalism, respect, and confidentiality. Here are some common misconceptions about sex therapy, and the truth that you can expect from a good sex therapist:
Q: Will I have to take off my clothes?
A: This question among many others such as “Will they touch me?”, “Will I have to demonstrate any sexual acts?”, “Will I have to do anything against my will?” are all common questions related to the boundaries, training and ethics of a sex therapist. A sex therapist is a licensed mental health professional that abides by their professional code and state laws. Sex therapy is a space to open up our uncomfortable and sensitive topics within the bounds of a professional mental health setting.
Q: What if we’re struggling but it’s not that bad?
A: A common misconception is things need to be in crisis or in a really bad place to reach out for sex therapy. The truth is, if you seek out support when you recognize a problem is beginning or is continuing to reoccur you can address things before they turn into a crisis.
Q: What if my issue is so unique I make the therapist uncomfortable?
A: This is one of the most common feelings new clients have. Clients often worry their therapist might think they’re “weird” or judge them. However, sex therapists are trained and work with so many aspects of sexuality with curiosity and compassion, not judgement. They recognize clients may feel uncomfortable because they haven’t shared their experience with someone else before, but remember, sex therapists work with many clients working through a variety of experiences.
Q: Will my sex therapist make me answer uncomfortable questions I don’t want to answer?
No! Their job is to help you feel safe to share but will never force you to share. They will ask you questions to understand your unique circumstances but you are ultimately in charge of what you share and at what pace.
Q: Will I feel pressured to violate my personal boundaries?
A: No. A trained sex therapist will support you with your values and help you identify values conflicts that are disrupting your sexual health. Clinicians at The Healing Group have ongoing training and support to meet clients where they are at within the values they hold.
How do I find a good sex therapist?
Just like any other type of therapy, you want to have a therapist you feel comfortable with. While many licensed therapists are familiar with sexual issues, a specially certified AASECT therapist will have specific training to address sexual issues in the most knowledgeable and effective way. Many states do not have regulations around therapists saying they are sex therapists so be sure to inquire about their training and qualifications. Because of this, we recommend a sex therapist who who has the AASECT certification and training which you can find here. This level of training takes place over a minimum of 18 months in addition to a Master’s degree, includes 150 hours of sexual health education, a minimum of 50 hours of supervision, sensitivity training and endorsements from others already certified in the field.
Utah sex therapy at The Healing Group
The Healing Group is proud to be Utah’s premier location for individuals and couples seeking sex therapy from certified sex therapists. We pride ourselves in offering the highest levels of training and supervision to our clinicians so that we can provide the best in support, understanding, and healing for our community. If you have considered sex therapy, please reach out to our Client Care Coordinators who can assist you in selecting the right sex therapist for your needs. You can call or text us at 801-305-3171 for more information or to set up an appointment.