8 Things I Wish My Clients Knew As Their Therapist
Have you ever wondered what your therapist is thinking as you open up about your life? The answer might surprise you! Read on to get a peek into what Kristin Hodson, THG Founder and licensed therapist, says goes through a therapist’s mind throughout the therapeutic process.
1. I’m not judging you. Truly. It can be a vulnerable experience to share experiences, thoughts and emotions that make you uncomfortable or that you don’t understand. Please know that ethical therapists are not judging what you are sharing or feeling. Therapy should be a safe space to explore parts of yourself that can feel shameful or embarrassing.
2. I really do think the best of you. Therapists use what is known as a “strengths-based approach” to viewing their clients. This means that we are trained to look for your strengths, especially when you are experiencing your weaknesses. It is already *such* a big deal that you are putting in the intentional effort to work on yourself by even prioritizing therapy. Therapists will continue to see the best in you even when you struggle to see the best in yourself.
3. I want the best for you. I want you to feel better and feel more in control and confident in your own life. This might mean challenging you while also holding space for you and validating you. Therapists want their clients to feel better about themselves. One of the goals of therapy should always be to end therapy eventually– we want to get to a point where you feel better.
4. Your behavior makes sense. Every behavior and thought comes from somewhere, meaning if we really dig enough we can usually find a reason for a behavior or a thought pattern. And rarely is it because you are a crazy or malicious person (which is oftentimes what the negative voice in our head tells us). Therapists want to help you understand why you feel the way you feel. This helps increase your self-awareness and eventually this will help you create healthier and more sustainable patterns.
5. I can’t and won’t be the personal authority for your life. Oftentimes when beginning therapy, people can unintentionally (or even intentionally) want and expect their therapist to tell them how to live their life. That is not the point of therapy and would actually be a disservice to you as the client. Helping you grow into your own autonomy and feel confident in making decisions for yourself can be one of the greatest lessons you take away from therapy.
6. I believe in your ability to change. I genuinely believe and know that you can change thought patterns, behaviors and your body’s ability to regulate. This change happens with consistency and over time, but it can happen! Therapists believe that you can feel better and feel different. Your therapist can help you understand how to make those changes that might feel impossible and they can encourage you and point out your progress when things feel overwhelming or dismal.
7. I trust you. At the end of the day, you know yourself best. Therapists trust and can work collaboratively with their clients throughout the therapy process. You understand what has worked in the past and what hasn’t, you know best how you would like to feel, you know what your willingness is and what your limitations are. Increasing your autonomy and ability to trust yourself is part of this process.
8. I’m going to push you. Sometimes a helpful part of therapy can be challenging our long-term thoughts about ourselves or other people. This can look like being encouraged to challenge where your thoughts are originating and replace them with something different. Therapists provide validation as well as structure for examining, questioning and challenging thought patterns and behaviors.