8 Things To Know About Postpartum Depression
By Alisha Worthington, LCSW
Postpartum depression is finally becoming more widely addressed, thanks in part to several celebrities talking about their struggles with transitioning to parenthood. However, there is still a lot of misinformation out there. Use this as a quick guide to better prepare yourself, your partner, your friends and your community.
It’s not just “depression.”
In fact, the correct term is actually “perinatal mood disorders” because more women are reporting experiencing postpartum anxiety, postpartum OCD, postpartum PTSD, and, in very rare cases, postpartum psychosis rather than just depression. Additionally, many of these symptoms begin showing up during pregnancy and/or before. If you or someone you love already struggles with anxiety, intrusive thoughts, or other mood disorders, please understand that hormone changes and lack of sleep will just aggravate these conditions. Knowing this can allow you to better prepare for these challenges.
It’s not like on tv.
News stories and tv shows are about ratings, drama and extremes. Many women are afraid to talk about what they’re experiencing because they’re afraid of having their baby taken away, or at least having people think they’re “crazy.” And/or, sometimes women suffer in silence because their symptoms don’t match the stories they’ve heard reported. Please know there are many varieties of postpartum mood disorders and they’re all relevant and important. The sooner you reach out, the sooner you can feel better.
It’s not your fault.
I had three hospital births, three home births and one birth-center birth and I experienced some form of a postpartum mood disorder with almost all of them -- even the births in which I did everything “right” (whatever that is). The brain is an organ like any other organ in the body and it can get sick like any other organ of the body. Recently I broke my leg. Nobody faulted me for needing a cast and physical therapy, but we seem to sometimes fault the Mom or Dad for needing help due to postpartum depression or anxiety.
It’s not just women.
Often the symptoms of postpartum depression can mirror grief -- shock, depression, anger, bargaining, and so on -- because although the birth of a baby is exciting and highly anticipated, it’s still a loss. A loss of freedom, relationship, and identity. Men experience this loss as well. Moreover, the same principle applies to men as to women. If a man struggled with anxiety, OCD, depression, or PTSD previously, he will more than likely experience these in a bit more exaggerated state after the baby is born. It’s important for both partners to explore where they may need extra support.
It’s not time to be Super Mom/Dad.
Sleep and nutrition are essential for the postpartum brain and neither of those can be accomplished very well all by yourself. Getting at least one four hour period of sleep within a 24-hour period helps reset the brain, but sometimes new little babies have their own agenda. Involving others so you can get some sleep will not only help you, but will help your baby because you’ll be in a better state to care for that baby. Food -- especially protein and water -- are also essential. Let others make you food for as long as possible. See it as a gift to you -- which they’re happy to provide -- instead of a burden. Use lotsa.com to send out community calendars to make it easy for people to sign up to help -- because they want to.
It’s not just about the baby.
If you’ve ever flown on an airplane you’ve been taught the principle of taking care of yourself so you can take care of others. When the oxygen mask drops you are supposed to put it on yourself first before helping someone else because if you pass out, you’re no help at all. The same applies to the postpartum period. Some parents feel guilty about taking time for themselves, getting extra sleep, or asking for help. Actually, by taking care of yourself you are helping your baby because you are in a better position to do so. Put that oxygen mask on!
It’s not forever.
Postpartum depression (perinatal mood disorders) is different from chronic or more traditional mood disorders in that, with treatment, people get better faster. Research shows that support groups are extremely helpful along with more in-depth treatment if necessary. The postpartum period is anywhere from 1-18 months -- with the emphasis on months not years. The sufferer may feel as though it will last forever, but it won’t. And with the right support plan and treatment, if necessary, the symptoms can begin to lessen rapidly.
Knowledge is power.
The more you know and understand about perinatal mood disorders the less scary and daunting it has to seem. There are wonderful online resources, such as the online Postpartum Therapy Groups and free Postpartum Support Groups offered through The Healing Group. It’s time to stop thinking parenthood is something to be done alone and without support. It’s time to encircle each other in the warmth of community and support the birth of new parents along with the birth of a baby.